Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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How do you get an annoying baby to shut up? Hit it with a bat

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Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

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roses are red violets are blue i'll be back in an hour or two

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What did the man want for his birthday? Chicken dinner serves 2-3 people

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What do you call a man who does not burst into tears after hearing that his mother has died? A person that has been desensitized by today's cruel world and society.

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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You are in a room with hitler and bin Ladin. You have a gun with 1 bullet. Who do shoot? Don't worry you don't have to make that decision. They are already both dead

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What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

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Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

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Three construction workers are high up on a building when they decide to take their lunch break there. The three open their respective lunches, converse pleasantly, and enjoy the fine weather.

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Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a murderer.

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A woman went outside for some fresh air.

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What's funnier than a fat person falling nothing is

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A frog walks into a bar and the bartender thinks he is very well evolved because frogs don't walk they hop

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whats uglyand cry , and screams mommy ... you after i bitch slap you

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"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops