Do you know what's hilarious? Not rape.

what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

Cole and his brother josh tag team jaycie until she cries herself to sleep while Sarah watches

What happened to your hamster? It died.

What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

why is 6 afraid of 7? haha! because 7 ate 9 no because 7 is black

What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

You idiot thats 9 letters

How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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