Ey hornboy give es a SCAB

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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What's green and blue? yellow

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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drugs.

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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how may i help you

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

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Rebecca Black.

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Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? answer: Where's my tractor?

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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Last week, I visited the Virgin Islands. Now it's just called Islands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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