An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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What is worse than being bitten by a snake? Being bitten twice! - Louis

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cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer

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Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

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What do you call a black man that steal from your shop? A thief

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A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

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Fat people

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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The movie starts off with Tom Cruz jumping out of a plane. He hits the ground and dies, end of movie. - Cole G.

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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Women. One of the genders a human can be.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

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Why did Hitler try to take over the world? Hitler wanted to spread the Nazi (National Socialism) idea, He also wanted to destroy the Jews(Christian and non-Christian) and many other groups of people using the prevailing scientific idea of the day eugenics and survival of the fittest

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Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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A black man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" He says as the Klu Klux Klan beat him with sticks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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