What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A program that creates "pointless inventions" and posts them at the wrong sections.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the man say to the young, blond athletic girl walking by? "Hi."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the house burn down? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +4

North Korea is red. Amerika is blue. But they both split blood. All over you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the black guy say to the Jewish guy when it began to rain? It's raining.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Things i like to do when im bored; chase after ostriches take major dumps masturbate give myself major erections EJ

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's Red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you hear about the one about the man who walked into the library? He likes reading

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead black person? There aren't 50 watermelons buried in my backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If Voldemort was gay who would be his partner? Happy potter

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mama is so ugly, she entered an ugly contest and placed well in her division.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the bus company sued? For substandard national safety regulations

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

thumb_up thumb_down +4

3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops