What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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whats green and dont fit? a dead epileptic.

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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A black guy walks into a resturaunt. he finishes his drink, graciously tips the bartender and leaves.

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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what did the boy in the blue hat do? wear his blue hat

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Your text.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Woof.

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whats up with that? i'm from jersy

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

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matt is fat

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What's black and is hanging from a tree in my backyard? Avocados.

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Wha....You probably shouldnt read the rest of this because i lie a lot (This joke deserves lots of thumbs and comments!)

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

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What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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