A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you worrying about the chicken? You just got shot.

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What's green, smelly, and in a swamp? Casey Anthony's Baby

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Why was the priest lying still? Because his son shot him

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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Hey, I just met you. Nice to meet you.

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what happened to the atheist when he died? he went to HELL

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What super hero did they choose to be on the Blue Jays' team? Batman!

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

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Why is the black guy afraid of the white guy? He's not, it's the other way around.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

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What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

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An asian man and a black man were having a conversation. The asian man sneezed. The black man got SARS and he died shortly after.

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Why did the beautiful woman marry the ugly poor old man? She was blonde & was therefor not aware that he wasn't rich nor younge.

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Q. What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? A. A bench is an inanimate object used for sitting on while a Mexican is a human being.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because of excess velocity.

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Why was the blonde confused? Because she had 10 second memory loss.

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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops