Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says "What is this? A joke?" They then proceed to rape the barman.

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What do you call a women with 2 black eyes? Hopefully nothing because abuse is something that shouldn't be messed with and it is wrong.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

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Whats sad about 4 blacks riding of a cliff in a cadilac. It was a rental.

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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We found a cure for cancer. Death

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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