- Anti Joke

Two monkeys are lying in a tree. Big monkey and little monkey, little monkey bites the big monkey's tale, big monkey starts jumping around the place shouting. Little monkey just starts laughing and takes another sip of whiskey.

Whats the difference between an american and a arab? Their Ethnicity.

What did the man say while he was in surgery? Nothing, he was in surgery.

Why was the little boy sad? He was recently molested.

why cant fat people walk because they are fat

Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

I forgot what came after: Roses are Red Violets are Blue Too much anti jokes

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

Shea's sty....

Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff