Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

What happened to the boy who survived a tragic car accident?? He stepped out of the car and got hit by a semi.

Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

Knock knock who's thare Your mom She's dead you bitch

Who like vibrating dildos? Cammy

Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

What did the monkey say to the receptionist? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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how do you wake up lady gaga? poker face

How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

what did batman say to robin to tell him to get in the car? get in.

What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

There's 2 guys in a Y shaped road. One road leads to a cliff with deadly alligators below the river. The other road leads to the village. You can ask both of the guys one question to which leads to the village. However, one guy always tells the truth and the other guy always tells a lie. How do you get to the village? GPS

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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