why couldn't the little boy sleep? he was being tortured.

What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

Q:Why did the boy have no friends A: because Ants are not considered friends

"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

What goes up but never comes down? This dick

70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

I walked in ony my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

A pterodactyl walks into a bar, bartender says "What'll you have." To which the pterodactyl graciously replies "RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR." Because pterodactyl's do not speak English.

Yo mamas so ugly that when she looked out the window, she was arrested for mooning.

Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

What is worse than the holocaust Nothing it was fine with the Jews in camps burning and dying

Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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