Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

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What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

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I have a really funny joke.

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Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

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I like it, I like it becuase it is cream

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I saw a coin one day but never picked it up. It was still there the next day and then the day after that when it was still there I saw a girl being sick on it...

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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Why were there a series of riots in london? The police shot and killed a man who was threatening them and thus caused his friends to get angry and caused other people to lose control.

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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i told my parents that i was having friends come over my dad said great my mom said great so i said great

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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Obama

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Yo mama is so fat she died

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Why doesn't little billy eat his vegetables at the dinner table... Because billy has bin dead for 3 years

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Finn Davidson is cool, no he's not, yes he is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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