A horse, a duck, a pig, and a mus lim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the mus lim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the mus lim that he's keeping company with a swine, and the mus lim feels offense for the poor horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's endangered like the Spotted Owl? A Cancer patient.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken saw some potential food across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldnt Jimmy ride a bike? refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A horse walks into a bar. "Rough day?" says the bartender. UUUNNNHHHHH!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Stop procrastinating.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Person A said: Knock Knock! Person B could not answer the door as he could not hear Person A's announcement of his or her arrival.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Rebecca Black walks into a bar she took the back seat

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops