A man walks into a bar

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I always used bra`s so I guess you know, nice I guess. Can you please stop it? I like know I am telling but my mind wont like accept it, and I would just like to shut off the laptop, but I want to keep chatting with you for just a bit more.

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What did the man want for his birthday? Chicken dinner serves 2-3 people

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Whats the answer to life? im not sure

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Equal rights!

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How do you get an annoying baby to shut up? Hit it with a bat

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What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

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Q: What are 4 consecutive fart's called? A: Fart's, unless someone gives them names?

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You know what happens when you plant a baby into the soil and give it lots of sun and water? It dies.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

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knock,knock you suck

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Two biscuits were sitting in an oven. One says to the other hows it going, the other says nothing because he knows that biscuits can't talk.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some men like Cheese, I have aids.

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Why did the cat die? To get to the other side

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What do fruits and computers have in common. Microsoft.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We are here to inform you that your daughter has died in a drunk driving accident.

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Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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