What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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Q: What does one man with alzheimer's say to the other man with alzheimer's. A: Purple, because magic doesn't go through chickens.

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A blonde has a headache, so she goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes some Advil, she takes it, and then feels significantly better.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Moon: The sun shines bright like a virgin. He must be high..

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What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

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what good about eatting every night knowing that a african want

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Q: When you have alot of hair, what are you? A: Obease

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three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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what is purple and fly? - a purple flying.

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Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

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Why do Mexican's wear pointy shoes? Because its part of their culture and is used as a sign of dignity when dancing to tribal music

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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i don't hate you because your fat ...your fat because i hate you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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