How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

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Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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What do you call a black man that works with out pay? A volunteer

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

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-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

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Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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Math Quiz! If sally was born on September 18th, 1997, how old will she be on her birthday? Leave your answers on her grave tomorrow.

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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