why are tree's green cause that's how god made it

Roses are red. Violets are beer. Kay eckelkamp is in charge here.

A horse didn't walk into a bar. The door wasn't big enough

Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

When life gives you limes....... first you have some problem and second u throw them at people

Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

Why was the man whistling? He was calling his friend.

so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

Link ate ink to make him sink.

You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

whats worse than a pile of dead babies? two piles of dead babies.

Two black men walk into a Ku Klux Klan meeting. they are immediately lynched by the mob who hates them

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon are fictional, therefore Pikachu is fictional, meaning he would never be at a bus station in the real world at all.

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and in turn wasting money

What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

So there's this white guy with a huge dick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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