Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red. Violates' are blue. Hitler is my homy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get your dog to stop peeing on the floor? SHOOT IT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I´ll give anything to be screw by you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: why did the boy walk into the woods alone? A: nobody knows he hasn't come out yet

thumb_up thumb_down +2

two japanese men walk into a bar. the first japanese man says “i am japanese!” the second japanese man says “i am also japanese!” the bartender then says “well, hey. i’m japanese too”. the bar was in japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four because snakes don't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A child walked into the bar. He was promptly asked to leave because he was too young.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the good thing about having sex with KL..... Nothing because she is a fat man

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the guy jump out of the plane? he was parachuting

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense? A:

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mama so poor that she's having trouble making ends meet without government assistance.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had celebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down

The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened when the boy fell off of the bridge? He died

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come anyways.

thumb_up thumb_down

KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops