Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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what do you say to a black guy on steroids? B!tch please

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench. They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

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A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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Vote this down and get DOXED

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Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

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i have a christmas tree.

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Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

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your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

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You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

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A blind Man walks into a Bar. A young man quickly runs over to him and helps him up.

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Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

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what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

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Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

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- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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