Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

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How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

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How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna ride bikes?

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What do you get when you mix a baby and chemical waste? A bad smoothie.

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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Why Was 6 Afraid of 7? Because 7 was a Pedophile

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Because that would be assault, and not only assault but aggravated assault, since you are using a weapon to do it. Plus, the lawyer would have an advantage over you in court during the trial, due to having a law degree.

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Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

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Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red... That depends in how hard you throw them.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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how do you know when an elephant been in your refridgrator The door wont close

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What's worse than getting raped then killed? Getting killed then raped.

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Knock Knock, Whos there? a baby nailed to the wall Orgasim

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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