a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

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What do you do when you see a person sleeping at a bus stop? You fart on their head

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Three girls are eating icecream one girl sucks on her icecream the second girl licks on her icecream and the third girl bites on her icecream. Q: Which of the three girls is married? A: The girl with the wedding ring.

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Whats the difference between KFC and Starbucks? KFC didn't murder your sister.

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How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

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Why don't you throw rocks at a black person riding a bike..... It could be yours

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What is a white man in a white shirt called A white man in a white shirt

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

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What did the depressed girl say to her mother? I cut my wrists

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

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What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

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What do you call a baked bean falling from 10,000 feet? A baked bean

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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Poop

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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Knock, knock. Who's There? The Fire Department...

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Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

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what did the man say to his horse? sex. -teagan doherty

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What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

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I guess we will have to see, if I where to one day use my ways of thinking with the intention to become the most corrupt politician of them all, do you think I would succeed?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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