Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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what does a gay horse eat heeyyyyy

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

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how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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