What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

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One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

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how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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