An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went to the top of the Empire State building to have a penis measuring contest. The Irishman had the longest penis.

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What do you call a fish with 6 legs? A fish with 6 legs.

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1 out of 4 questions. How do you get a girrafe in a fridge? Open it, put the girrafe in, and close it.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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To be, or not to be. That is not the question. The question is, what time is it?

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Q: What cant you give a black guy? A: Black eye, lips, and a jon

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dry handjob

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five fingers The third one's for you

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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What do you call 10 black people swimming down a current? A happy family

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What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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why do they sparkle?!?!?!?!

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm? Lebron traveled

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A black man is sitting in front of the bus Then he respectfully gives up his seat to an elder woman

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David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

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Three girls are eating icecream one girl sucks on her icecream the second girl licks on her icecream and the third girl bites on her icecream. Q: Which of the three girls is married? A: The girl with the wedding ring.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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