Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

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Hey, did u know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans By: Trey & Trenton of Texas

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

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A: Knock, knock. A: Knock, knock! A: Um ... Knock, knock! B: Sorry, I didn't want to answer the door.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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A black man and a mexican are falling off a cliff. Who lands first? The police officer.

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A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Why do black people like watermelons so much? They don't. It's just a stereotype.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

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Nero, thank you for this opportunity, I desire to join the shadows, I left a thumbs up. Michelle

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

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there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops