How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A Penn State administrator walks in to a butt.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's hiding in Redfoo (from LMFAO)'s afro? Nobody knows...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q) Why did the Koala fall out of the tree A) Because it was dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

matt is fat

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? the black man

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the vegitarian order for brunch. VEGITARIANS DONT BELIEVE IN ICE CREAM>

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

thumb_up thumb_down -25

That awkward moment when sentences don't end the way you octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I lost The Game, You just did too.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red, They are also violet, yellow, white, pink, orange, purple, or orange.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I heard a scary rumor that when you plzy a windows istaller cd backwards, it plays a secret message, but what's even scarier, is that when you play it forwards, it installs windows.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats the difference between an iron and a priest? An iron is a hand-held device which presses clothes and a priest is a person who is authorized to perform the sacred rituals of a religion.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops