smell the vitamin C

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A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

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it was all Tagart

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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My Mom was strutting down the runway. Then she got trampled by a plane.

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What did the bacon say to Sam's eggs? Why are you green?

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

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Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A bear goes to target, soon after animal control came and put it in a nearby zoo

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whats black and white with red all over. something that's black and white with red all over.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's worse than a joke. ONE TOLD BY FOK.

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What do you call the people that ride on the upper level of a double decker bus? Passengers.

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What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

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Why did Santa get stuck up a chimney? Because there was a family of possums living up there. They ripped his face off.

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

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A train conducter conducts at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph, if he goes under 2 bridges and over 3 hills what did the conductors mother have for dinner that night. Nothing she was raped then promptly murdered.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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What's the difference between a stepfather and a turkey? A stepfather is a man who married a woman who has already had a family with another man but the man does not mind because he has fallen deeply in love with her and wants to spend the rest of his life with the woman. A turkey is completely different in many respects.

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops