What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

What begins with "B" and ends with "N" that you never want to call your neighbor? a Black Person

What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

knock knock whos there rock rock who rocks dont knock stupid

The Charlotte Bobcats

A: "Knock knock." B: "Who's there?" A: "John Doe." B: "John Doe who?" A: "..."

How do we achieve world peace? KILL EVERYBODY. Nobody can fight when they're dead.

Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Why was the girl sad? Because she was, you idiot!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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