If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

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Hello, this is Chuck Norris speaking.

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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why bouriquet can not read is book ? cause he's retarted

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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Why do migets laught when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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Whats the difference between and ? Blue custard

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman.

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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Where does a king keep his armies? In his sleevies

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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There's a black guy in a house. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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Whats worse then hell? The guy who commited suicide would know.

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Two polar bears were sitting in a bathtub. One said to the other, "Could you pass the saop?". The other say, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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