What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff, Whats not pink and fluffy? Sexual assault.

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whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Q: Guess what my Mom and Dad did last Night on the Kitchen Table.... A: Had Dinner.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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Winter

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped by your uncle

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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