There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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A police officer walks into a doughnut shop. He approaches the cashier and hands him 20$. He says "Here, I saw you drop this on your way in" he promptly leaves the store.

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Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

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whats funny about this joke? nothing.

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404: Anti-joke not found.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

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If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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Whats the difference between chris and a party. the locations

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, Herp Derp

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Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon *Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name*

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? fried chicken.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots, "Long day?", the bartender asks. "Yeah", the man replies, then he goes home and hangs himself

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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There's a black guy in a mansion. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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knock knock who's ther? chris chris who? JUST OPEN THE F***ING DOOR AND CHECK IT OUT

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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