Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

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Oh and Nero, what are you suffering from? Is it dangerous? Are you dying or something? Please dont scare me like that again.

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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knock knock There's no door

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What did the zombie eat for breakfast? You. You fell a-sleep

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how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

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What does a kid with no arms and legs get for christman.... Cancer...

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Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

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What did the speech impaired man say ? Nothing.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

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why do asprins work? Because they're white

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Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

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Justin beiber..

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what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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Q)A man and a women are hiking on a mountain trail. A bear appears. What do they do? A) Die.

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A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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