Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

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roses are black violets are grey... im color blind sorry

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? Vegeta got rid of the scouter because a monocle built for displaying a person's physical abilities in numbers is extremely farfetched and he didn't want to be a part of a super race of supreme beings that still relied on such ridiculous antics

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No soup for you!

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

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Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Hi, Steve!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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