What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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why was the giraffes head so far away from his body? because he has a long neck

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

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What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

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Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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whats funnier than a joke? A: a funnier joke

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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I like it, I like it becuase it is cream

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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When is Florida not the sunshine state? At night.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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knock knock who's there? It's Jim we haven't seen each other since college Why hello there come on in

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What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops