Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

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What is worse than Shaq's free throw percentage? The free throw percentages of Reggie Evans, Bo Outlaw, Andris Biedrins, Wilt Chamberlain, Chris Dudley and Ben Wallace.

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What do you call a boy with one eye and no arms. -Mean names.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Cinema greatest shit final, anime and videogames dont translate well into movies edition: One day... a young man named Tyler Reed, is chased by the notorious bully named Peter Ganondorf... Just then... he coincidentally utters "I AM THE LINK!" And a great lightning bolt strikes him... Tyler Becomes THE LINK! As for Peter Ganondorf... he became a pile of burning ashes... But Just then THE LINK, gets contacted by Jessica Fairy! And receives a important message... The evil Dr.Bullshitious has destroyed the connection without earth and planet Zelda! And that is bad... BECAUSE! Can Tyler Reed use his powers of lightning fast flight, and collect the TWO pieces of the mystic "triforce" to earn the ultimate weapon? The Master gun! Most importantly, can he become THE LINK between Planet Zelda and Earth? *Shows random shots that you cant make shit of like those movies you know suck just from the narration* ZELDA: THE LINK TO PLANET EVOLUTION! Moral: Still better than Dragon Ball Evolution...

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hi

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What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

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Why did nobody like Anne? She was disabled

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kk

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What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

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You know what's natural? Bears.

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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Colin is gay but toasters are not

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What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

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What did the little boy become for Halloween? An orphan, his parents were killed that day.

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Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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did you stub your toe?

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Why did the Teacher cry? Because he was sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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