How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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So there's this moose right? And he walks into the store and asks where the potatoes are. And the cashier lady says aisle 5. So the moose walks to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

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why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

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Rejected Disney titles: - 1,000,000,001 Dalmatians: The Need of Neutering - Beauty and the Bricks - Zambi: the Walking Deer - The Iron King 2: Simba's Ferride - The Little Mormon - Cinderella 4: The Fairy Godfather and his Mafia - Tarzipan of the Choco-Apes - Brother Boar - Home on Deranged - The Emperor's New Sith Apprentice - Mickey and the Mousetrap - Lilo and B**ch

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Doctor Doctor i have a shoe in my braces. I bet it smells haha.

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

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Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. A worm in your apple.

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Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

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Why did annie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Annie!

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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Butterfly is standing on a flower. Cow comes and steps on that flower

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what happend when the AntiJoke Crossed the road? It pooped in the ... HIT BY A REFRIGERATOR.

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How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

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Hello, my name is John, and you are reading this paragraph. Find the mistake...

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What do u call a bunch of black dudes burried from their necks down? Afro-turf

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That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

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Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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How many people does it take to light a fag? I love BBW porn!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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