how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

Oh and Nero, what are you suffering from? Is it dangerous? Are you dying or something? Please dont scare me like that again.

What has hands but can't clap? - A Quadraplegic

How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

Boys go to college to get more knowledge, girls go to Jupiter... Actually I lied, girls go to the kitchen

What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

What happened to the guy that got a perfect score on his S.A.T.'s? He was murdered.

rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

What happens if u call a black kid names? He tells an adult and u get in trouble

What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

What did the zombie eat for breakfast? You. You fell a-sleep

Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

What? Chicken butt Why? Chicken thigh Who? Deez nuts

A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: The Police. We have a warrant for your arrest.

Why was the little African child sad? He had recently been denied an education only 4 days after witnessing his mother being raped and cut in half by a machete. ....he also had aids. ......and was in Africa.

Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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