I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

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I was walking down the street then my hands were itchy so I stuck em in my pockets Jk, I'm a donkey. We don't have hands

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem makes no sense refrigerator.

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A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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when debbie meets downer

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If you share rice between 30 Africans what do they each have? Aids.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What did the old man say? Im old

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Link ate ink to make him sink.

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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Aww good to see you looking positive! He said to the boy dying of HIV

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if life gives you melons, then you're most likely dyslexic.

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, for the task at hand is so simple, you should do it.

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Why didn't the boy have any pockets on? He didn't have any pants on

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If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops