Humans are pathetic: What kind of heaven is it when you die, and learn that everybody you love chose the wrong religion and is burning in hell? Moral: Human garbage!

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man1:did you know hellen keller had a dog? man2: no man1: neither did she

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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Again, what is it called when you are safely inside at winter your power is out, but the streets are full of people as the weather gets really bad and people start bouncing around? Blizzard Entertainment. What is it called when a robot lets out gas? Electronic fArts.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Knock knock. Whos there? Death. You will die in the next 12 hours from terminal cancer.

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What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor I think I have HIV! Doctor: Wtf to that one...

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Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

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Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm dying of AIDS so I guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself"

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

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What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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why did the mexican cross the road? to get to the lawn mowing shop becuase his wife has breast cancer, and he cant pay the bills sitting on his butt and getting a check from the government every month

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whats 2+2? math.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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