How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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Caca.

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Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

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Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

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A man walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

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wommmoaooammaaa

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Nothing. His parents are dead and Santa doesn't exist.

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Your mother's so fat.....When she gets on the scale, it tells her how much she weighs

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How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a sloth? Everything. The blonde is a human being and humans are way different than sloths.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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a black man and a white man walk into a job interview. neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 went to a house party. 7 was there. 7 and 6 kind of new each other. They went to the same school, but weren`t really friends. All night 7 was giving 6 strange looks. 6 started feeling uneasy, so he left the party early. When 6 got in his car 7 was inside waiting for him and pulled out a gun. Luckily 6 got away from 7 safely, but has been scared of him ever since.

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If you share rice between 30 Africans what do they each have? Aids.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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