How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Why did the Catholic Priest get arrested? Tax-evasion.

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if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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What do you call a terrorist on 9/11? A terrorist.

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Black Ops? That sounds illegal. Anyway, what do you mean you are a employee only? I mean if you where a fed, you would either be on the top, or be an employee no?

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ecks! why zee?

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Q: yugdyijgdripgdghd A: sorry I'm retarted. I don't know wtf I'm doin

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Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

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How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

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Want to know a joke? There is no joke.

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What noise annoys a noisy oyster? Hispanics with their loud car stereos.

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

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What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Why were the black mans hands all sticky? He was helping orphans with arts and crafts

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

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Q. Why did the 8 year old girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

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Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people nit make the mistakes he did

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How come the kid couldn't go to college Because he was black and couldn't afford it

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How can you tell that the Filipino presidential candidate Grace Poe is an alien? From her extra set of retractable jaws and highly acidic body fluids.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops