Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

why was the man walking in the kitchen? idk thats why i asked

What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to a near by hospital where he is treated for a concussion.

Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

What did the caninibol do when he duped his girlfriend He wiped

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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