Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a person and one is an inanimate object

What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" Of course not.

Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

A gay man watches football.

Do you know the muffin man? No

My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

why did the chicken cross the road? because colonel sanders was chasing it with an axe

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

whats worse than finding a worm in apple? being chased by retards

what do you call obama a dumbass

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

lol im s0 gut at spelign at engrish N u laughd n liekd diZ funi joek XDD u most LUV LE MEMEZ n EMOtikons Lol (^-^) y u guyz so st00p1d at math Wtf???!?!? 1+1=8 i m soooo smurt hahaha I <3 warrior cats n dance 2 gangnum stail wile masturbatin 2 swagbois le raeg comicz ;3!! . And now you are dying of cancer.

Why did the blonde make pasta even though she had a gluten allergy? She had some Italian friends coming over. Also she bought some gluten-free pasta and sauce so she wouldn't need to be hospitalized.

There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

A dyslexic man walks into a building labeled, Bra. He then thinks he has found heaven but is suprised when all that is served is beer, not milk.

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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