Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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Pianos.

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Knock knock Who's there? NYPD you are being placed under arrest come out with your hands up.

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Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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Legal Mexicans in Texas

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Why was the guy tired? His titties were too big

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Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

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A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead

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Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

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what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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