Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I think poop is tasty... just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man die? He was old.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

thumb_up thumb_down +11

1 out of every 3 relationships someone is cheating, I wonder if it was my wife or my girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the Black person afraid of the chainsaw? Be cause it goes run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run

thumb_up thumb_down +11

identical jokes get different votes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Did you hear about the guy that told bad jokes? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Kindly ask him to come down.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops