Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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A man walks into a bar, a man behind him doesn't.

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Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

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roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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sdjhkferiughefljbdfnjkbhdfghlwu24537? 928ndfnfwdjfhoinbv;nop[

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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what kind of dog has no tail? a hot dog

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Yo momma's so fat that when she died of congestive heart failure, your family had to pay extra for a larger coffin to bury her in.

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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So there was a jewish guy, a black guy, and a white guy all sky diving. They all had an amazing time and they all went to a bar later to talk about what they just had experienced.

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Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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How do they call a black man that works in a mine. Miner.

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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What happens to an elephant when it rains? It gets wet.

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Q How do you know when a gay walks into a bar A Albert rushes over and starts feeling him up

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What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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