What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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So a woman walks into a store... There's a lamp selling for $5.99. She buys it because she thinks that's a pretty good deal.

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Knock knock. Who's there- oh wait, I don't care. Get away from my house or I am going to call the police.

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WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

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What's black, white, and red all over??? A penguin in a blender.

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Why did the mexican jump over the fence? It was a shortcut.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's ripe and orange? A ripe orange.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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my egg roll

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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