Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for christmas? Cancer.

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A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

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people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

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Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Why did the chicken kill himself To get to the other side.

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh?

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A child walked into the bar. He was promptly asked to leave because he was too young.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

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a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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What's white and sticky? Snow. What were you thinking of?

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a blind man drinking from a dog, thinking it was a fountain

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted ti get to to other side. why did the medic cross the road? beacause there was a seriously injured chiken on the side of the road, it had been hit by a fat man on a jog

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Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

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Why could the penguin not fly? It was shot in the wing.

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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What's the difference between a jew and a bottle of ketchup? People actually like ketchup.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

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MILLERS FUNNY LIKE A JEW

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Your momma's so old she might die soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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