Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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A.act like u see a banner and say hey do you see that banner over there? B.no what are u talking about A.oh well there's a banner over there

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You spent your time reading this and realized there was no joke.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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Bill: Hey Scott, do you have the time? John: My name is John, you must have mistaken me for someone else. Bill: Oh. I apologize for the inconvenience. John: No problem. By the way, the time is 3:34. Bill: I don't actually need the time, me and Scott just have this inside joke of me asking the time when we both very well know that he refuses to wear a wristwatch. John: Alright

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My son lost his first tooth today...so proud. Took my punch like a champ

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I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

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Question: You are in a bed between a hot chick and a gay guy, who do you turn your back to? Answer: False, I am to unattractive to find myself in bed with anybody else.

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Why bouriquet laugh ? cause hes mom get hit by a bus.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if i gave a rats ass, I'd worry about you.

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Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

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Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

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Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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Yo mamma so fat, she's on a diet and is losing weight at a good, steady rate.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

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Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

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Did the owl ever reach the middle of the tootsie pop? Yes. Dreams do come true

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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