what do ninjas and gay people have in common... if you eat them they will no longer be alive

Adam and Eve ate the apple and felt a bit ashamed and stuff. God looked upon them and said, well its just a fucking apple get outta here you kids! Adam and Eve also took things a bit too literal

Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

Hey I Just Met You And This Is Crazy But I Am Pregnant And It's Yhur Baby ~GotDemChoozen

Most people like to drink beer, others do not.

Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

What do you get when you cross an orange with a gerbil? A mailbox that lights up when you open it

Bum: Excuse me, can you spare some change? Rich man: No

A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

How do you confuse a bus driver? Go invisible and throw bananas at him

Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

THe Election

why does gamma not smile because he has strokes

On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

a man walks into a bad part of town he is shot 13 times and dies.

What's a Mexicans favourite video game? It depends on his/her personal preferences.

Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

A Guitar is an instrument. As far as you know...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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