What is the difference between a rabbit and a stick? One lives and one not.

Two polar bears are sitting in a hot tub. One polar bear asks the other to pass the soap. The other responds, "No soap, radio!"

what do you call a black man in the dark? missing.

Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for them. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed next to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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whats a joke

What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

What did the gay man see when he looked out the window? A UPS truck that was shipping a monkey

Why didn't children go to their grandma at summer? Cause, they were hit by a car earlier that year and they are dead.

What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. She didn't. She's still in the kitchen because I beat her if she's not cooking or cleaning.

Why was everyone screaming bloody murder? Their home team won

A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

Guest-knock knock (silence) Guest-hello is anyone there? no go away Guest-looks like there is no one here lets leave

whats 2+2 equal? 4

Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

wael.. nuff said

How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

A duck walks into a bar Its theoretical comical universe implodes from the destructive weight of inevitable punchlines and everyone in the bar dies.

Do you need a life...? You can borrow mine! lol JUBIE! :()

A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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