"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

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what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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what gets louder as it gets smaller? a baby in a trash compacter.

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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What's worse than waking up with a hangover? Not waking up at all

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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A Blond and a Brunette are falling down to their deaths, which one hits the ground first? Does it matter? They both die anyway.

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womens rights

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Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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I'm getting sick of holocaust jokes can't you Nazi Anne Frankly I'm sick of it

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Poker face

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

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what did the slave say to the slave owner i like your car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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