The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Ey hornboy give es a SCAB

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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womens rights.

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Q: Were did the balls go? A: In the sack.

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What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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Why was Timmy late for class? He got hit by a bus. Why was Jimmy late for class? He saw Timmy lying in the middle of the street, went out to help and got hit by another bus.

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There is a very old lady at the bottom of a long flight of steep stairs with a large amount of groceries piled up in her hands. How did she make it to the top?? She walked.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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I have aids

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Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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bangers and mash?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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