What's sad about three black men in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? They were my friends.

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Why is life so hard? Because god isn't real

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

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Yo mama's so fat that she needs substantially larger clothes than most other people

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Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

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knock knock whos there? IRS Oh....

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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What is the difference between a priest and a nun? Cant you see the nun is dead you insensitive bastard!

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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What did the hooker get for Christmas ? AIDS.

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

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Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

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How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

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Why do all gingers get mad all the time except having sex? Because they enjoy it!!!

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

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How's the weather? Good.

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...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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