The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? She was dead

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why does paul mccartney not wear shoes? cause a nigga stole it

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a dedicated fat guy joins a kung fu dojo he is asked to dedicate his like to his kung fu the fat man dose not he is already dedicated to being a fat guy

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

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Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

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roy g biv

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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

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i don't hate you because your fat ...your fat because i hate you

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

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Knock Knock. Knockin on Heavens door, oh hey come in

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Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

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diarrhea.

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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Q. Why do televisions come with clickers A. So you don't have to get up to change the channel

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What do u call a gay dinosaur? Dinosaurs don't exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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